Please Note: I am still growing in Jesus.
  Even after all these years as a believer, I often wrestle with far more questions than I have answers. 
Therefore not everything you read on this page will be fully-formed truth. 
Please read with these entries with discernment, and keep in mind that no matter how hard I try,
the "opinions stated here may not necessarily reflect the view of the Management."  

Wednesday, November 16, 2006: It's Thanksgiving time again, and a great opportunity to say "Thanks" to so many friends who are a part of my life.   I'm writing this update from my tired little hometown of Westernport, where life is slow, and neighbors have nicknames like Topsy, Bugsy, Fuzz, and Muckles. Up the road is "Bugger Ridge", and down the road the other direction is Hooker Hollow. Sometimes I can't help but wonder how someone from these parts could end up in Sarajevo, Bosnia.

Being home is a blessing, even though I'm not sure where home is anymore.   Today it happens to be Westernport.   Tomorrow night it'll be Florence, and just over a week ago it was Sarajevo. Today I've been sitting here for the better part of the afternoon writing and re-writing different updates, trying to come up with something that'll express where I am, and at the same time encourage anyone who might stop by to read it. First I composed a blustering hit-and-run critique comparing Islam with the religion of the Pharisees. But it was way too intense, and didn't feel very appropriate for the season. Then I made a lame attempt to wax eloquent about Thanksgiving. It ended up sounding like a cliche held at gunpoint. The truth is, I need to update this blasted webpage, and I just don't feel like have enough inspiration to take me across the street.

I'm OK. Really I am. I think I just need some rest, or maybe a few hours of jumping around in a bouncy castle.   I've spent most of the past week preparing worship services and programs, working on my Christmas CD, trying to be a good son, and now wrestling with this cantankerous update.  Or maybe I just need Thanksgiving.   It always brings me back to the reality of how dependent I am on God, and how frail I am without him and the virtual army of friends and family who keep me encouraged, sane, and supported.

I'm especially aware today that none of us can pull this off alone.   Who would we be without each other? What would life be like If God didn't have the goodness to send us friends to hug us and encourage us, to express tenderness and care? The glue of God's Kingdom is relationship. Indeed, without it there is no kingdom, and there is no life. Thank you for being a lifeline to me, and for understanding when the words just won't come.

Thursday, October 12th, 2006:   Adrian Plass says "a parable is a story that keeps you entertained on the front door step while the truth slips in through a window."  Last week I took three Bosnian Muslim friends to see Superman Returns.  Not your typical evangelistic strategy, but the film is clearly a parable of a helpless world in need of a savior.  So I explained to my friends beforehand, "Superman is a little bit like Jesus, except that Jesus was real.  He was a real man.  A God-man."  And then I told them some things to watch out for in the movie. "Lois Lane says the world doesn't need a savior, and neither does she.  What do you think?"  Stuff like that.    

As it turned out, the movie ended very late, and everyone had to hurry home.  So I didn't have a chance to debrief the guys.  But the kingdom is like a sower planting seeds.  And I've noticed that Jesus didn't do an alter call after every parable.  He just planted seeds.

In order to encourage myself and my presence in Bosnia I've had to constantly rethink and upgrade, (or sometimes downgrade), my expectations.  I can count the number of actual converts I've seen on my fingers, but I've begun to trade in that system of accounting for what I believe is a better system, the system Jesus himself used.  He didn't seem to divide people into spiritual "haves" and "have-nots," insiders and outsiders, or even the "saved" and the "lost" like we modern believers do.  Of course everyone will eventually be counted on one side of the fence or the other, but Jesus seemed to be more interested in whether people were moving towards him, or away from him.  The poor people, the sinners, and the outcasts of His day were following him by the droves while the religious folks opposed him every step of the way. 

Jesus didn't preach firey sermons to hookers, tax collectors, and Samaritans, but rather told them stories, loved them, and encouraged them to believe and follow.  I can imagine if we modern Christians were a part of his little band, we'd hang around until it was all over and then pull out our trusty tracts. "Here.... if you'll just pray this prayer, and really mean it from your heart, then you'll be one of us.  You'll be on the inside." 

I think It's more like that restaurant in Bulgaria.  Seemingly from nowhere people began to join hands and circle about in a dance.  I watched, enviously at first, until I realized it didn't really matter whether I knew how to dance or not.  The point was to join in and learn.  So from the sideline I stepped forward and cautiously broke in, then after stumbling about and making it difficult for everyone else I finally caught on enough that I was bouncing in the same direction as the rest.  Am I a true Bulgarian dancer?  I supposed it all depends on how you assess it.  But I do appreciate the words of Bishop Desmond Tutu: "What I love most about God is his wonderfully low standards."

After all these years in Bosnia I have to hope that these things sometimes happen in stages.  Some, like the man of the tombs in Gadarea, may grab hold of Jesus and beg to go with him.  Others, like Nicodemus, may come under the cover of darkness and follow at a distance.  Either way, my hope and prayer for my Bosnian friends is that they will turn more towards Him each day.  One day maybe they will find themselves swirling and dancing in the most kingdom way.  And only Jesus will be able to do the accounting. 

Monday, September 4, 2006: Just over a month ago I had another major setback involving deception and theft.  Over the years I've had to train myself to cast a wary eye towards the locals in this regard, but the real disappointment this time is that it came from a trusted friend, and at quite a cost.  The details, I'll spare.  But it was enough to send me reeling in discouragement, and questioning (again) my affectiveness in Sarajevo.

Thankfully God knew exactly what I needed, and arranged for me to attend a two week course on the Gospel of John in Ancient Ephesis, Turkey.  I don't know if other people experience similar bouts of foolishness, but I have to confess that after walking with Jesus these thirty-odd years I'd managed to convince myself that I probably knew most of what I needed to know about this familiar gospel.  But I went anyway.   

And I'm happy to report I've had a conversion of sorts.  Now I'm thinking that it'll take all of eternity and then some to explore the riches of God and the mysteries of the incarnation unfolded by John in his Gospel.  Some of this breathtaking awakening has to do with the Trinity.  Along the way I think I've heedlessly picked up the idea that since we could never fully understand the Trinity in the first place, there wasn't much point in trying.  And that's left me with a nebulous Godhead who is long an attributes, and short on personality. 

The early church, I discovered, used the metaphor of a "circle dance" to help explain:  Father, Son, and Holy Spirit existing throghout the ages in an astonishingly beautiful dance of love, joy, and fellowship.  This means, of course, that God is - in His very essence - profoundly relational.  The very core of the Trinity is held together by a delightful and passionate love which transcends time itself.  And that is precisely why John tells us in his epistle that "God is love."  (How radically different this is from Allah's monolithic "oneness", self-existent, and sharing life with no one.)

Even more astounding than the dance itself is the staggering inclusiveness of the Trinity, who chooses freely and generously to invite us into the dance.  What awesome hospitality!  For me, the implications this reach into every area of my life: It affirms the kingdom, validates the cross, restores human identity, sanctifies everyday activities, and moves life into whole new dimensions. 

There's so much more to tell, and I'm afraid I haven't begun to do justice to what I'm seeing.  But ultimately my heart has been encouraged by this fresh vision of God. 

Tuesday, July 18, 2006:  Been trying to write an update for the past several weeks, but every time I get a few thoughts down I lose my steam and it all seems to fall flat as a Kansas prairie.  Can't seem to find the inspiration to come up with anything meaningful.  So today I've determinded to write something, anything, just so my friends will know that I'm still in Sarajevo slugging away for the kingdom.

Summer is typically a slower season here.  It's often a time for me to catch up on my reading, reflect, and find some new bearings on what God is doing here in the city.  Our new YWAM community meetings are going well with a healthy mix of 30-50 believers and unbelievers in attendance. God has faithfully met us with his presence at every meeting.  Some of the guys from the boy's home are beginning to join us at various meetings as our relationships have evolved to the place where we're able to naturally share our faith with them.  They, in turn, have been hanging out with us more, coming by the apartment, or joining us in town.  I've also been making a few new friends in the music community.  All of this an answer to my prayer that God would open up new relationships with young Bosnians.  

I've mentioned in my past few updates about the need for kingdom prayer in regard to the world situation.  And now that Israel is at war, the urgency is stronger than ever.  I believe this is a crucial time for God's Kingdom, and that our prayers may be the deciding factor in whether the kingdom moves forward offering justice, mercy, and peace to the nations, or if it will suffer a crushing defeat.  My prayers have also had a dividing influence within my heart as I've had to separate the difference between my American interests and the interests of the Kingdom.  I can't imagine Jesus leading his people to pray that our enemies will be obliterated.  But rather I find myself praying for repentence, Christian workers, God-ordained pressure upon the nations, and that the demonic powers of darkness and death would be broken over the people of the world, (and particularly the Middle East).

This might be a good place for me to insert the thoughts of Brian McLauren, one of the authors I've been reading.  Since I can't come up with anything more inspirational on my own, perhaps I should let him do the talking: "The good news of the kingdom brings blessings to all, adherents and non-adherents alike.  For example, if Jesus sends people into the world to love and serve their neighbors, their neighbors benefit, as well as the ones sent by Jesus, because it's even better to give than to receive.  Even if only a few would practice this new way, many would benefit.  Oppressed people would be set free.  Poor people would be liberated from poverty.  Minorities would be treated with respect.   Sinners would be loved, not resented.  Industrialists would realize that God cares for sparrows and wildflowers - so their industries should respect and not rape the environment.  The homeless would be invited in for a hot meal.  The kingdom would come - not everwhere at once, not suddenly, but gradually, like seed growing in a field, like yeast spreading in a lump of bread dough, like light spreading across the sky at dawn." 

Wednesday, May 31, 2006:  Even as our postmodern culture smothers our minds with rumors of irrelevance, God's Word makes the unequivocal case that were made to matter , created for impact.  Mankind was never placed in the garden to live inconsequential lives, but to rule the earth, to cultivate it, and to fill it with God's glory. (Genesis 2:28)  And when the human yearning to make a difference isn't realized, our lives shrink into depression and despair. 

This week I've been thinking about the idea of "lords" and "ladies", and how God has given us a similar mandate to these ancient nobles.  In medeival times a "lord" was a bit like junior king.  He ruled a small territory, (more properly called a "fiefdom"), that was included in a greater kingdom of a monarch.  Each fiefdom, however, was subject to the will of it's lord, who stewarded the land, developed it, and filled it with good things.  In modern times, our fiefdom might consist of our family, our home, our job, our network of relationships, civic involvement, and things like that.  Certainly in each person's life there is a territory, often small, but sometimes, (as in the case of a corporate executive, or a powerful political figures), very large, where his will is in effect. 

I believe this aspect of the Kingdom is what Jesus was getting at when he told all those parables about landowners, kings, farmers, talents, and businessmen.  King Jesus told us very clearly that when a person is faithful in stewarding his small fiefdom, God will enlarge it to include more and more territory.  As I see it, this idea has several implications for us as kingdom people: (1) We must submit our own will to the will of our sovereign King.  (2) We must faithfully steward our territory of influence so that it will increasingly reflect the glory of King Jesus.  (3) As we're faithful in small things, our little fiefdoms will grow and increase until one day they will merge into the glorious kingdom of God.  Thus, the idea that Jesus is "King of kings, and Lord of lords,"  refers not only to His sovereignty over earthly monarchs, but over us, His "lords," (in the decidedly lower-case), as well. 

I'm not sure what you'll make of all this.  Can't say I've ever heard it taught in church.  Nor am I ready to start a denomination over it.  But somehow it affirms in me a sense of significance.  I'm not just putting in time until Jesus returns, but I'm investing my life and my energy into a little plot of ground where Jesus will be honored, His beauty displayed, and his will would be done.  My little fiefdom of "Don-will" includes an address in Sarajevo, a number of Bosnian friends, a webpage, a wonderful home church in the States, some musical gifts and talents, and a faithful circle of friends like you.  Please pray that I will be faithful to my call.  - Your humble servant, "lord Donald."

Tuesday, April 24, 2006:    Random thoughts about the kingdom.  Most of you reading this know me and have come to expect this sort of thing.  So I thank you ahead of time for your patience. 

I arrived back in Sarajevo on Easter Sunday Morning as the sun was coming up through the still snow-capped mountains.  It felt like I'd taken a bus tour of the world.  My time spent with DTS students from a dozen different countries affirmed once again that the church has a gaping hole in it's message. "Thank you for telling us about the kingdom. I've never heard about this before." (England)  "Thank you for bringing this new teaching to Albania."  I was stunned to find whole classrooms full of Christian young people who had never heard a sermon nor a teaching about the Kingdom of God. It's little wonder the enemy has fairly successfully muzzled the church, neutered it's message and fenced it into a pen at the far side of culture.

I read a story once about a missionary in the Philippines who chanced upon a group of young men on their way to a Marxist meeting. "Can I ask you something, boys?" he inquired. "What is it that you guys find so interesting about Marxism?" "Four things," they answered. "It's something bigger than ourselves. It offers us a sense of brotherhood. It gives us a hope for a better world. And it's something worth dying for." That's it!  That's the kingdom! That should be our message. But instead we've allowed the "cares of the world" to encroach upon "the hope of the world" . We've spent lifetimes chasing wholeness, healing, prosperity, experiences, blessings, purpose, and significance, while leaving the one thing Jesus told us to "seek first" ...so neglected that our young people have never even heard about it.  

Jesus told us this would happen.  The parable of the sower is fair warning that the seed, (the "message of the kingdom" -Matt. 13:19), would be assailed by shallowness, satan, riches, and the cares of the.world.  And then he went a step further and told his disciples, "Don't you understand this parable? How, then, will you ever understand any parable?"  (Mark 4:13)  The point, I belive, is that if the message of the Kingdom is lost, then we'll interprete all the other parables in light of salvation .   And many of the parables will lose their true meaning.

The Holy Spirit spoke to me this week about praying over the spiritual roots of the America's conflict with radical Islam.   I'm admittedly out of the loop with whatever might be going on in the American church, but even so I haven't heard or seen anything calling believers to assail this demonically-fueled conflict with prayer. "Not by might nor by power, but by My Spirit... says the Lord." (Zech 4:6) "The horse is prepared for the day of battle, But victory belongs to the LORD." (Prov.21:31)  Viewing radical Islam's war on the west as a spiritual phenomenon is to recognize it as a Kingdom conflict.  And only then can we see it as it is.  This antichrist system has deep satanic roots that cannot be subdued by mere foot soldiers, bombs, and technological weapons.  Prayer and spiritual warfare must be our first order of business.  The fate of the world lies in the prayers of the church, and if we fail to rise to the battle, eternity will suffer.

Saturday, March 11, 2006:  Winter in Sarajevo just won't go away. Still, the cold dreary months have provided ample opportunities for befriending a diverse group of young people through English classes, movie nights, visits to the Boy's Home, and evenings at "New Hope Ministry Center." 

If only the process wasn't so painfully slow.  I recently led a night of worship for the missionary community in Sarajevo.  Weariness was written all over their faces.  I can honestly say that every Bosnian missionary I know is desperate to see more fruit for their labors.  We yearn to see big results,  bumper crops of believers, and flourishing church plants.  But alas, we find ourselves sick of the spiritual winter, and desperate for the sunshine of spiritual breakthrough in the Balkans.

Recently I read in the gospel of Mark, "The Kingdom of God is like this. A man scatters seed in his field. He sleeps at night, is up and about during the day, and all the while the seeds are sprouting and growing. Yet he does not know how it happens." (Mark 4:26-27)   From the time I was a kid I've never had any patience with the planting process.  I'd always give the beans a couple of days in the styrofoam cup, and then succumb to the urge of digging around to see what the holdup was.  But Jesus says the only thing I can really do is plant.... and wait.  The results are up to Him.  (Prayer, of course, is in both the planting and the waiting). 

In the meantime, Alen and Tony, whom I've worked with for several years, are currently in Displeship Training School preparing for God's call on their lives. Ahmed, (refugee from Cameroon), just called from Croatia to report that the Lord is still very much alive in his heart. Peter, (from Iran), got his French citizenship, and has stayed true to Jesus in the long process.  Others are in various stages of germination and growth.  So there are  a few encouraging things happening even in the long spiritual winter. 

Tomorrow I leave for the US, and then for England, Albania, and Macedonia.  The last three weeks will be a marathon teaching trip with of three back-to-back Discipleship Training Schools.  But typically I find great encouragement in teaching the kingdom to young people.  Your prayers will be precious to me!

Wednesday, February 8, 2006:  Even when I left for the States in December, I wasn't sure why I was going.  I didn't feel like I could afford to go, either financially, or time-wise.  It was mostly one of those spiritual "hunches" the Lord puts into our hearts when we're too dull to hear His voice clearly.  So it was encouraging to watch God unfold His plan for the trip.  Superb family times as well as opportunities for encouraging friends, doing concerts, speaking in churches, and recording were all a part of the fare.  But just as I was ready to return, Fred, (my stepfather), had a small stroke and needed emergency surgery.  I extended just long enough to support him and my Mom through crises, and ended up with a profound sense in my heart that I was exactly where I was meant to be.  Not only that, but in the end, without even trying, my finances were in a much better place that when I left Bosnia. 

God never stands still.  Returning to Sarajevo has been just as cold, and nearly as dark as when I left.  Nevertheless I'm encouraged to see that "Aslan is on the move."  At least it seems so judging by the growing hunger and conviction I'm seeing in my Bosnian friends.  One long-time buddy, (an unbeliever), is feeling God's breath at his heals.  Another is learning to trust God in new places, and yet another is being changed daily.  The work here is often excruciatingly slow, almost like watching a seed germinate.  So I'm happy for even the smallest indication of grace taking hold in a Bosnian heart.

The enemy evidently felt compelled to welcome be back with his own little bag of tricks.  Last Friday while walking in the old town, I was pickpocketed by a group of beggers.  Out of nowhere, four women suddenly closed in and began pulling and tugging at my clothes, and pleading for help. Recognizing the setup, I pulled my backpack around to the front and disengaged myself as quickly as possible.  And then noticed almost immediately that my wallet was gone from my hip pocket.  Aldin took off in hot pursuit and followed one of the woman into a public restroom where he retrieved my wallet minus about $200 rent money.   About two years ago I was just about ready to call it quits after a long string of such incidents.  But this time I'm well aware that it's simply another one of the enemy's strategies, (and a fairly harmless one, at that), to discourage me and send me packing.

Tonight I'll be leading an outreach with University students.   We'll watch the Australian film, Strickly Ballroom, and then talk about the difference between religion and grace.

Friday, January 6, 2006:  I received a card the other day that said, "Christmas cards are never late, because we can celebrate Christmas every day of the year."  I like that idea not only because it's true, but because it gives me wide wiggle space in expressing my Christmas greetings.  So rather than making a list of excuses about why I haven't updated or sent out postal greetings, let me just take the opportunity to sincerely wish each of you a fresh revelation of Emmanuel today, and a new infusion of his grace in the coming year.  What more could there possibly be?

Returning to the States always always carries a unique set of challenges for a missionary.  And I'll have to admit that returning during the Christmas rush probably notched the whole experience up to a new level.  I hope you won't take the following little rant too personally, but I do feel like I need to say it.

It seems to me like the American church is being strangled by the twin devils of comfort and covetousness.  And .... (this really frustrates me),  I'm as guilty as the next guy.  In the same way I encounter the dreaded spirits of hopelessness and despair when I land in Bosnia, I'm enticed in America by the seductive sisters of comfort and covetousness.  I suddenly want to relax and "take it easy," or to satiate my heart with things from the mall.  When you live most of the year with people who haven't the money for food and medical care, there's something shocking about Walmart buggies overflowing with trinkets and non-essentials, neighbors who rent storage units for their Christmas decorations, and the Christian teenager I heard telling her Mom, "I need to go to the mall and buy an Ipod or something ."  (An Ipod retails for $250 - 400.00).

When is enough enough?  This much I know: As long as we take our cues from television, magazines, and popular culture, there will never be an end to this covetousness.  We'll always need a bigger car, a faster computer, or just one more blowup snowman for the yard.  All the while our spirits wither away, chained to a mountain of "things." 

It's blatant seduction, and while we believers ought to be the ones sounding the alarm, it feels more like we're in bed with the merchants.  Just the other day I found myself in the Walmart return line with a DVD I'd bought on impulse a day earlier.  (It was a great deal, incidentally.  Only $9.50 for a real classic).  "What's the problem, sir?"  "No problem.  I just don't need it.  I bought it on impulse."  She chuckled, which left me wondering if she'd ever heard that line before.  It was a tiny victory for me.  I'd desecrated the alter of Covetousness for at least an hour or so.  But already this afternoon the temptress threw herself at me again, cooing, (from a Staples Store), "Come on in, big boy.  I'm sure there's something in here you need." 

Meanwhile the world's poor, (the 1.3 billion souls who live on $1 a day or less), would love to have a storage unit to call home, or the price of a bargain DVD to feed the family for a couple of days.  I wonder if Jesus wouldn't be blessed, or if the world might more quickly believe if we Christians began tightening our belts in mall and opening our wallets to the poor. 

Sunday, December 11, 2005:   Rakman is an Albanian, a Muslim who fled Kosovo during the conflict in 1998.  He was one of many who were surprised to discover that it was the Christian Albanians who extended mercy and practical help rather than their own Islamic brothers.  Naturally the experience raised questions in his mind that eventually led him to faith in Christ.  He tells the story of when his chicken truck broke down in Serbian territorry between Kosovo and Beograd.   Knocking on a random door for help, he was greeted by the owner of the house who challenged, "Why are you knocking at my door?  You hate Serbs."  "No I don't," Rakman answered. "I used to hate Serbs, but Jesus changed my heart."  "You mean you're an Albanian Muslim, and you don't hate Serbs?  Wait right here."  The man called his family together, then asked Rakman to repeate what he told him.  "I'm an Albanian.  I used to hate Serbs, but I don't anymore.  Jesus changed my life."  "Wait right here," the man interrupted.  Then he hurried out to call his neighbors together.  "Now tell them what you told me."  So right there, with his impromptu congregation, Rakman testified about the power of Jesus to change the human heart.

That's the kind of good news people are yearning to hear.  A heart can be changed.  Life has a deeper dimension than the physical existence we awaken to each morning.  God-in-flesh, who silently entered our broken world is still in the business of changing hearts. "Where meek souls will receive Him still, the dear Christ enters in."

My time in Serbia and Kosovo was rich.  I spoke to fifteen students in Novi Sad, and ninety (!!) young people in Pristina. They were attentive, engaged, and (in Serbia) had lots of great questions.  In Kosovo, the electricity went out towards the end of class, and after finishing the last twenty minutes in total darkness, we dispensed with the questions.  (I'm told planned power outages occur at about five hour intervals there).  I find it intriguing that while we Americans are busy evicting Biblical Truth, (the ideas that made our country great), out of our academic institutions, universities in this part of the world are desperate enough to embrace it.  Perhaps when political correctness completes it's devastation in America we too will look around from the wasteland, eager to embrace true answers.

Sarajevo is depressing this time of year.  There's not much "Christmas" in the air; No carols, no bell ringers, few decorations and fewer lights. I never realized how much the Christmas season helped me through the darkness gloom until I came to Sarajevo where winter's gloom is darker than ever, and there's no Christmas to compensate.  Only the light of Jesus carries me through this time of year.

Friday, November 25, 2005:  Last week after English class, Nera wanted to talk about Darwin's theory of evolution.  After a rather engaging conversation, (she's a biology major), Stephanie announced that this Thursday's class would be cancelled due to Thanksgiving.  Nera was incredulous. "You celebrate Thanksgiving here?"   After explaining to her that we do indeed celebrate the holiday, she challenged, "What do you have to be thankful for in Bosnia!?" 

After compiling this morning's rambling Thanksgiving list I'm tempted to print it off and present it to her next class.  I definitely had a ton of blessings dumped on me this year.  The list has been my own private Thanksgiving tradition reaching back to the late eighties.  It's become a tangible exercise in gratefulness that never fails to lift my heart and encourage my spirit. 

I realized years ago that people and relationships were my greatest treasure.  Friends like you, (who are reading this update), are the substance of my life.  Aside from Jesus and the spiritual blessings of grace, your friendship is the only thing I might carry with me into eternity. Your prayers sustain my soul, your gifts pay my rent, and your love fills my heart.  If you're reading this update, I can almost promise your name is somewhere on this year's list.

Please pray for me this coming week.  I'd almost sooner have surgery than to take another bus trip to Kosovo.  It is one miserable haul over the mountains. But I just can't say no to the opportunity to share principles of the Kingdom with a classroom of young Muslim students.  When a door like that swings open, you just have to know it's God.   

Tuesday, November 9th, 2005: It feels like I've turned some sort of a corner here in Sarajevo. Suddenly God seems to be opening doors all around me. 

My home church, (Trinity EPC in Florence, South Carolina), recently purchased a portable keyboard for me.  Here in Bosnia, pianos are hard to come by, and consequently I haven't used my music very much over the years.  Now I'm able to call a taxi and tote my "keys" to anyplace they're needed.  So I'm busy enjoying lots of new opportunities to lead worship and do musical things that weren't feasible before.  Not only does this open up new ministry, but it'll help me stay in practice for when I return to the states and resume my musician identity.

I've also been enjoying the opportunity of teaching worldview (and the Kingdom of God) in a variety of settings including a weekly English class for Bosnian university students.  Typically people from a background of Islam don't question their beliefs.  They simply accept uncritically what they've been taught from their family friends, and culture.  So one of my aims in teaching all of this is to motivate the young people to ask questions about the validity of their beliefs.  If the students can develop an appetite for Truth, then in reality they've developed an appetite for God.  It's been wonderfully gratifying to hear the students discuss questions like, "Does life have a purpose?" or "Is there such a thing as absolute truth?"  Some have even admitted that they've never given these things any serious thought before.  Once the students begin questioning, the Holy Spirit is well able to lead them "into all truth ." 

The ministry at the Boy's Home just keeps getting better and better.  Each week we find the boys, (ages 8 through 20), more trusting and responsive to our friendship.  Many of them have come from unbelievably abusive and dysfunctional situations.  So they have an amazing need for affirmation, attention, and love.  Our prayer is that the Father will use our hands, hearts, and words to love them as He would.  I expect if Jesus was walking the streets of Sarajevo today, the boy's home is one of the places he might choose to hang out. 

Just to show how amazing Jesus is about opening doors we can't even dream of, I just accepted an invitation to do a guest lecture on Worldview with the philosophy students at the university of Novi Sad (Serbia) later this month.  What a laugh.  I came within a hair of failing my one and only philosophy course in college, and now this.  Sometimes I just have to shake my head at the ways of God. 

All of this has been a huge encouragement to my heart.  And with the winter months approaching I may need the boost to keep me alive.  Already at 4:45 pm. the sun has set, and before winter is through it'll be getting dark around 3:30 in the afternoon.  Last year I found all the darkness to be profoundly depressing, and had a terrible struggle keeping my head up. 

Monday, October 10, 2005:  Due to my desperate need for sleep before catching an early morning bus to Croatia, this update will probably turn out a  bit lame.  My deepest apologies to those who have checked in hoping to find something of substance.  But I also have a few friends who become anxious when my silence drags on too long.  

The time in Kiev was superb.  I got to teach a group of amazing young people, (most of whom are "missionary kids"), four sessions on the Kingdom of God.  Of course that's one of my favorite topics, and young people are my favorite age group, so you can imagine I had a blast.  Ukraine itself was refreshing, much more open to the gospel than here in Bosnia, and the country is more developed, too.  At times it felt like I was in the US.  On a personal level, I was very grateful (and relieved) that God gave me the grace pull off a weekend youth retreat at my age.  What a timeless God we serve. 

I'm also jazzed about a fresh opportunity God has opened up here in Sarajevo at a home for troubled boys.  We've visited the center twice, and tonight I took along my ukuleles, tin whistles, guitar, and rhythm instruments to do some music with them.  There just seems to be worlds of possibilities for reaching out to these young people with the love of Jesus.  Their hearts are just palpably thirsty for affirmation and attention.  I'll try to write more about it as things open up.

This coming week we're taking the Sarajevo YWAM team to Croatia for a retreat.  I'll be doing some teaching on foundations for ministry, grace, and the Kingdom of God.  It will be great to be in a different setting with the team.    

Tuesday, September 13, 2005:   Kept putting off this update in the hope of having something truely remarkable to report.  But the reality is the past several weeks have been pretty quiet and uneventful  I've spent time getting my feet back on the ground, investigating some possible ministry opportunities, and meeting with various friends for catch-up and fellowship times over coffee and juice.

Last Monday I had the blessing of reconnecting with three old friends, (Ibro, Sead, and Ismet), in the space of an afternoon. It encouraged my spirit to see that God isn't yet finished with any of these guys, nor, it would seem, with my influence in their lives.  Although none of the three are walking with Christ, each has expressed an interest in the Truth.  Not only that, but they're my friends.  I seriously doubt that Jesus hung around with tax collectors, sinners and prostitutes for the sole purpose of converting them.  I'll bet he actually liked them and considered not a few of them to be his honest-to-goodness friends.

Christ calls us to not merely make converts, but to disciple the nations.  Under the best circumstances a convert can be made in maybe ten or fifteen minutes.  But to make a disciple can take years.  It's the difference between giving birth and raising a child.  We can win a nation to Christ, but if we don't win the minds of our converts, we haven't won the nation at all.  In fact, we've probably lost the nation.   They'll just go to heaven when they die, leaving behind a broken and corrupt society void of truth, justice and beauty.  Minds are won sitting around in conversation, drinking coffee and talking about true righteousness, justice, and the proper response to hurricane Katrina victims. 

I've probably spent way too much time in my life separating and classifying people.  Jesus said that the kingdom was "like a net that was let down into the lake and caught all kinds of fish.  When it was full, the fishermen pulled it up on the shore. Then they sat down and collected the good fish in baskets, but threw the bad away."  (Matt 13:47-48)  It's been somewhat of a revelation to me to realize that I'm not the one doing the sorting.  I'm way too foolish for that job.  In Jesus' parable it was the angels (verse 49) undoubtedly under the careful oversight of the chief shepherd.  My job is simply to love them, (ALL of them!), and by doing so, to point them towards Jesus.    

Thursday, August 25, 2005:  I returned to Sarajevo this past Saturday evening, and wasn't on the ground ten minutes before being clobbered with an array of negative feelings and situations.  It feels like going back onto the battlefield after a couple of months in the field hospital.  Thankfully the Holy Spirit alerted me to what was going on, and gently reminded me of who He is, and who I am.  I believe I've had enough R&R with Jesus to be able to stand for this next season.

One of the things God has been showing me during this past week is how judgmental I've become.  I'm almost afraid to go back and read over the past year's updates with an eye towards the judgments I've pronounced on the people and culture of this place.  I've arrived at the alarming revelation that each time I do this I'm picking fruit off the tree of the knowledge of good and evil rather than eating from the tree of Life, which is Jesus.  My judgments have undoubtedly made me feel better about myself, but at the expense of trying to play God.  No wonder I was so stressed!  Jesus has only asked me to love these people, not to judge them.  I believe I'm in a new place now, or at least I'm aware of what a pharisee I can be when I start throwing spears. 

It's been a great week of catching up with people here in Sarajevo.  The weather has been pleasantly cool, (unlike the States), and perfect for meeting friends in the outdoors cafes.  I've been praying with missionary friends about launching new ministries and outreaches, and I'm actually excited about the plans and possibilities.  It feels good to be able to articulate such optimism after slugging it out so intensely those last months before I left in June.  God is indeed faithful.   

My last weeks in the US were similarly blessed with lots of quality time with family and friends.  I kept ministry to a minimum this trip, feeling like I didn't have a lot to offer anyway, and consequently I was less busy with preparations, and more occupied with relationships.  It was really a huge blessing to my soul.   

Friday, June 23, 2005:  Jeepers, it's been a whole month since my last update!  There's been a ton of scenery pass by my window these past weeks. I'll do my best to hit the highlights without being too longwinded.

First of all, God really met me at the YWAM conference back at the end of May.  As it turns out, a lot of our Central European missionaries arrived at the conference feeling much the same as I.  It's just not an easy place to serve.  But as so often is the case when we go through these difficult times, a simple word from the Lord is all we really need.  I got mine in two installments.  First when a team of intercessors from Scotland prayed over me and had a sense from the Holy Spirit that I had been "looking for fruit in the wrong season. "  Fruit, after all, is a seasonal thing, and it's not common in nature to find something that produces continuously.   

The other "word" is still unfolding.  It has to do with commitment.  For the past seven years I've been serving in Sarajevo without making any long term commitment to the country.  I've always told people, "I'll be there until God moves me on," (thinking this sounds rather spiritual). But now I believe the Father is speaking to me about a longer term commitment of several years.  Cut flowers and potted plants can be beautiful, but it's really only deep roots that produce lasting fruit.  It seems to be a season for sending my roots deeper into Bosnian soil.  To be honest, this whole thing scares the doodoo out of me.  Don't want to fail.  Don't want to miss God.  Don't want to rule out other opportunities.  Having wrestled with commitment my entire life, this is turning out to be a really big deal for me.  But one of my dear friends just reminded me yesterday, "Don, God does not want to cheat you out of life.  He wants to give you more life through this commitment."  

So goes the journey.  I'm in Florence, South Carolina this week, being "eaten-up with affirmation " from my home church.  I do wish I could transport these people back to Sarajevo for companionship. 

Monday, May 23, 2005:  I've received lots of encouraging notes since my last update.  Some have asked for the "bullet list" and all have assured me of their prayers.  God is faithful.  The fog has lifted a bit and I'm finding daily encouragement.  I really wish I could report amazing breakthroughs and new levels of faith and intimacy with my Creator.  But that's not yet the case. 

What I have noticed is that when I become more vulnerable in these updates, it sparks the same kind of honesty in my friends.  People write and say, "I know exactly what you're talking about."  It reminds me of my favorite church testimony back in Hawaii when a dear older saint stood up and said, "You know what?  We all come here every week and smile at each other in the parking lot and say, 'How are you doing, brother?' And we say 'Just fine. Praise the Lord!'  It all sounds really nice, but I'm just tired of pretending.  I  want you folks to know this morning that I'm not doing fine.  You are looking at one screwed up woman.  I need Jesus, and I need to start being really honest with you."  I wanted to stand on my chair and shout.  Somehow it's just a how lot easier to smile and pretend than to be honest and say, "I'm scared and worried about my health.  I've been depressed all week, fussing at the family, strugglin with my weight, and some mornings I wake up wondering if I can believe in God at all ." 

Tonight I leave for the Central European YWAM conference in Romania, followed by a short journey through France, Belgium and Norway to follow up on our dispersed Iranian friends before flying home on June 11th.  These next few weeks promise to be both encouraging and fruitful.  I think I'm needing a change of scenery and the fellowship of other missionaries who understand the pressures of living in a spiritually hostile environment.  Through the generosity of Persian World Outreach, we've got lots of Christian literature and music to distribute to our Iranian friends.  The four of us, (Bob and Eileen Pressler, Lisa Whitaker and I), have been meeting twice a week for the past month to pray for our friends and for this ministry trip.  God has given us Acts 15:36 as an encouragement for this endeavor: "Let us go back and visit the brothers in all the towns where we preached the word of the Lord and see how they are doing."

Most likely there will be no opportunity for another update until I arrive in the Sataes on June 11th. 

Tuesday, May 3, 2005:  A couple of years back I made a commitment to be as honest in these updates as I could possbily be, a decision which was shortly followed by a friendly Email commenting on the "depressing" nature of my entries. So I decided to scrap the honesty and revert back to positive, inspirational themes.  The Norman Vincent Peale approach: Think positive, write about uplifting things, and try not to let on that the hounds of depression are nipping at your heals, and that the lives of missionaries aren't always that amazing.

Some days the single objective of getting cleaned up to leave my apartment is challenge enough, never mind rebuilding the walls of Sarajevo.  How do you write an honest update when you've been in an emotional and spiritual fog for days on end?  Direction is vanished, movement slow, definition obscure, and the presence of others is difficult to even perceive.   I could at best make a little bullet list of all the places where it feels like my life is breaking down.  But that assuredly would depress some of my more squeemish friends.  So I'll spare you those little details and just mention it's been a pretty difficult couple of weeks.  (You can write me via Email and request to bullet list if you're really interested). 

On the bright side, I've been seeing some solid growth in a few of the guys I've been mentoring.  They're growing in honesty, faithfulness, and hunger for Truth, and that's a huge deal for a place like Bosnia.  Another friend, who has been wandering from Jesus for several years seems to be growing disgusted of the distant land. 

On Sunday mornings our little company of spiritual misfits has resumed meeting again at the newly renovated Lighthouse.  Mr Bob thinks we should call our group "The Ragamuffin Church" in honor of our tatterdemalion congregation.  This Sunday morning we sat in a circle and made a joyful sound to the Lord with rhythm instruments, peered out the windows at the mountains and cherry blossoms and sang "For the Beauty of the Earth", told stories, prayed for the Kingdom, and had a roundtable sermon/discussion about spiritual leadership and hearing the voice of God. 

It was "Prvi Maj," the auspicious celebration of Bosnian labor.  Following church we went "out into nature" with the rest of the city to celebrate work.  Thousands of people were picnicking along the roads and in the forests, and not one person seemed bothered by the fact that 60% of them are unemployed.

Last night I walked into town.  The streets were uncharacteristically empty after the holiday, and I took the moment to sit in the park and try to hear what the Holy Spirit might be saying to me.  After a half an hour or so of wrestling with my thoughts like monkeys in a banana tree, I gave up and found a comfortable seat at a coffee bar to do some reading.  Soon after, Zoran, a young Bosnian friend, took a seat and began to talk to me as if Jesus himself was sitting across the table.  God knew just what I needed to hear.   

Sunday, April 10, 2005:  Kosovo was another amazing experience.  Each time I hang out with Albanians, my appreciation for them grows.  Even though they're neighbors of only a few hundred miles distance, these descendants of the Biblical Illyrians are quite different from the Slavs of Bosnia.  They're much more optimistic about the future, more open to the Gospel, and perhaps most notably, they love Americans.  (The main drag in Pristina has been named "Bill Clinton Boulevard"!)  Several times I was greeted with words like, "Oh... you're American!  You will always have a home here with us."

The university students in Bill Burtness' Principles of American Government class are learning things about the spiritual foundations of America that haven't been taught in US schools in decades: The sovereignty of God, Biblical self-government, the sacredness of conscience, and the imperative of Christian Character.  I had the privilege of speaking on Biblical worldview and the Kingdom of God.  (All of this, mind you, in a "secular" university!)  This class has become so popular that in spite of enrollment cutoffs, young people were still knocking on the door during the last week of class wanting to get enrolled.  I love the Lord for the way He sets up such amazing and creative opportunitie

Things are warming up in Sarajevo.  It's that magical time of year when the coffee bars spill out onto the sidewalks, and everybody spends the afternoon on the street.  I've been enjoying casual meetings with friends over coffee, telling stories, encouraging or praying with them.  Often it seems like God gives me the ones who don't easily fit into other groups: those who feel rejected, misunderstood, or judged for whatever reason.  I wonder if the disciples weren't a bit like these Bosnian misfits: unlikely candidates to be chosen by a king. 

The other day I was having "bad missionary day", aggravated at what I perceive to be spiritual blindness and passivity in the people.  As I walked through the city a stream of faces fed the irritation in my heart.  "Lord, what's wrong with these people that they won't listen!?"  Then the Holy Spirit spoke to me, "Don, I want you to separate the precious from the vile.  These people are precious to me.  But the lies they have been told for countless generations are vile.  Love the people, and wage war against the lies and deception."